Dear Pittman,
No, I do not believe in Santa Clause. But if he did exist, I'd fuck him up.
He works too hard. I'm not a fan of hard work. I avoid it whenever possible. Easy to do in prison.
The very idea of Santa Clause stresses me out. Spend all year supervising a factory full of fucking elves. Screwing some old lady. Delivering tens of millions of packages in one night. Sliding his fat ass in and out of chimneys. Breaking into fucking houses. Shit. I don't even want to hear a made-up story about somebody working that hard.
Jim
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